That would be yes. It was probably the most cringe worthy, ground open up and swallow me kind of moment in my 34 years of existence. I kid you not, it was that bad. Let me explain …
I hate soft play. We are the parents who duck out of play dates if they are destined for a soft play centre, Mr H hates them with a passion, you can hear him saying ‘We are not going there’ even before arrangements have been made. I could count on one hand how many times he has taken Lil G to one. Whereas, me on the other hand always seems to draw the short straw. I don’t mind really, all in the name of love right?
Today on the other hand, was unavoidable, it was a 3rd Birthday party of a close friends little girl, our little ones have grown up together so we were obviously going to ignore the pain of said soft play centre. Mr H on the other hand apparently had some DIY to do. For those of you that do not know Mr H, he is not the kind to take part in DIY type activities. That would be Mr H Senior. Today he had a list, it was written down, he’d planned it I’m certain of it.
Can I just ask, why soft play? The children run riot, mostly unsupervised, screaming, crying, then stuff their faces, shortly after are sick, run riot some more, hurt themselves, come back red faced. On a positive note (just the one), it does tire them out.
Here goes. 20 minutes in, so far so good. I was shocked by how many parents were indoors with their children actually. It was 21 degrees outside, why oh why are you indoors? Maybe in punishment to their unruly child? Surely not, these places are like a sweetie filled heaven.
As we all stood round the edges of the ‘Toddler’ area, like a team of football referees (I say this because I am currently watching Socceraid2014!), ready to pounce on ‘the’ child who attempts to jump on some unsuspecting toddler, I was amazed by how well things were going. That was until I heard the words (from Lil G) ‘Mummy, Mummy, I need a …’
The rest of the sentence never came out, instead he stood in the middle of the ball pit, legs a akimbo, peeing himself. Not just a trickle, a full on wee, as if he had been storing it for hours. Was this really happening? OMG, seriously, now? I quickly forgot about my embarrassment when I saw the upset falling up on Lil G’s beautiful face. I dashed around forgetting the ‘no shoes’ rule, scooped him up, gave him a kiss and ‘don’t worry look’ and made my exit. Not before instructing one of the daddy’s standing nearby to make the staff aware of the, now wee filled ball pit.
As we were only 25 minutes into a 2 hour party, we nipped home for a quick change before returning. It was only when I pulled up outside, that I suddenly thought about the reactions of the parents whose children possibly walked through, jumped on or worse still touched the wee filled ball pit. I won’t lie to you I did consider saying to Lil G that the party had finished. I was woken out of my adult nightmare to Lil G shouting, ‘Come on Mummy, I see the cake’. And in we went.
*pause typing whilst Jamie Redknapp runs on to the #Socceraid2014 pitch, swoons*
It goes without saying that all the parents in our party were very understanding, offered me sympathy and had even saved Lil G a plate of food and a drink. Apparently this sort of thing happens often, urgh, yuk. Does it really?
Lil G went on to have a fabulous time, had his face painted and even tried some death-defying stunts as you will see below. *Heart in mouth* kind of moments. Would you believe, some 2-hours after the said incident, a young girl was still on her hands and knees, marigolds on, cleaning the area. Poor girl. At least we know they are clean!
Hopefully Lil G’s accident hasn’t put you off soft play, I can confirm that as this type of accident is so common, the Hargreaves Family will continue to duck and dive such invitations and will not be returning to a soft play centre. Does that make me a bad parent?