An Only Child

A few days ago we drove past a young boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old playing in the street. A usual day really. A usual sight. Well, he was on his own with a football kicking it back and forth against a wall. What I noticed was that he was alone. I couldn’t help but look over to Lil G and think… will this be you in a few years time?

Lil G after all is an only child. It will always be Our Little Family. Hence the name for my blog! He will never have a sibling, well other than our furry baby that is.

 

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 Our Little Family doodled by the very talented @HannahsDoodles

 

For the most part, let’s say 99% I am very comfortable with the decision we made. But then when I see a little boy in the street playing alone, without his pals, I find myself wondering if it’s because he is an only child. Does he find it difficult to make friends? Does he long for a brother or sister? Or (I actually think this is the case), is he unaware, doesn’t know any different and therefore it only bothers passers-by like me!

Every now and then a little guilt creeps in and I find myself asking Mr H… Are we being selfish?

I know that some of you reading this post will think yes. Maybe you are right, well actually I don’t think you are {hides behind the sofa}, you may have a point to consider however, have you parented a premature baby? Have you witnessed the sheer anxiety, upset and worry for if your baby will survive? Have you left your baby in the arms of a nurse knowing that they are the ones giving him cuddles when he wakes in the night? Whereas you are at home with your breasts attached to a pump milking yourself every 3 hours so as to take enough milk to the hospital the following morning.

If I’m honest it wasn’t a big decision for us. We took our time but it was quite simple. Premature birth is tough, those first few hours, weeks and months were awful. Really tough. Tough on us mentally and physically. Premature birth has scarred us. For us, the decision not to move onto number two will never change. So for all those who continue to ask… Anymore? When’s the next one coming? He needs a brother or a sister. The answer is NO, NEVER, and NO. It’s also really annoying and often upsets me. Please STOP!

Mr H and I have considered the effects of being an only child. We really have. To counter act some of the downsides of being an only child, Lil G has been in a private day nursery since he was 8 months old. We took part in numerous classes from the age of 8 weeks. All of which have helped with his social skills among many others. He is a very happy boy. He is ahead in so many areas. We have a huge circle of close friends who have children younger and older which we spend time with. We will always do the right thing by our little boy.

 

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KA x

 

If you haven’t already I would really love you to pop over to Life As Our Little Family on Facebook and like the page.

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on “An Only Child

  1. I am an only child and I loved it – even more so now, as I still get spoilt by my mum and dad! Tom and I have also decided that Charlie will be our only one. But for me especially, I didn’t take this decision lightly. Tom already has a daughter from a previous relationship so he wasn’t interested in having another. However, now I am convinced that we aren’t having anymore. I am happy with one. But I do worry – for Charlie especially, but also for myself. We all make decisions that are best for our family – you and your husband have decided that this is the right decision – so no one else should question that or feel they have the right to make judgements. As long as your boy and you are happy then there is no problem. xx

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  2. A lovely post and a very personal choice as you say. We have decided that having another isn’t an option for us, on the grounds of my health. Pregnancy is what kick started the majority of my symptoms and any subsequent pregnancies would most likely only make them worse, more painful. Harry has cousins and friends he adores and is a very happy sociable child. Every now and again we do question our decision but ultimately, my mobility impacts us as a family as it is, to consciously allow that to get worse doesn’t feel like the right thing for us.

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    • Oh I definitely agree with you, having a child shouldn’t have a detrimental affect on you or others in your family. For me I would just prefer to say as we are, happy and safe. No point in doing anything to harm that in my opinion x

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  3. great post – I don’t think it’s selfish to have one child, each family is different and you have to do what is right for you not other people. I’m expecting number four and get comments from people who think it’s too many – so you really can’t win!

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  4. I hate how presumptuous people are when it comes to children. My sister has no children nor does she want any and people have said to her face “what’s wrong with you?” I’ve never known people be so rude and vocal on other peoples choices when it comes to children. I feel so angry that people have made you feel selfish. G is healthy, happy adored and loved by his parents. Isn’t that the most important thing?

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  5. Oh KA this is lovely… I think as long as you as a family no why then that’s all the matters. Lil G will no doubt have the best upbringing you can give him and what’s better than a sibling than fantastic parents?

    I would love another baby, but complications with H, means I just can’t put myself through it.. It must of been so hard for you.. H was is in special care and even now when I think about it I choke up..

    Beautiful post x

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  6. I’ve been thinking about this so much recently. In the next 6-9 months I think we’ll know whether we will continue to keep trying or draw a line under it and accept that we will always be a family of 3. I feel guilty constantly for not giving O a brother or sister but he is completely unaware and is such a happy little boy, it’s my issue a lot more than his. xx

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  7. A truly lovely post! Your family and your reasons for only having one child are yours and yours alone. Lil G will perfectly fine (and he’s totally adorable to boot!)
    It annoys me that people feel the need to judge on decisions we make about the size of our families!

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  8. I think he sounds like he’s going to be just fine to me. He’s so loved, so cared for, and you sound like fantastic parents – and that’s all that matters. I think he’s going to grow into a very well rounded little boy. And you are doing such a great job. Jess xxxx

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  9. I’ve only got 1 child. She did want a sibling to play with and gets bored with adults to play with even if it is mum or dad. She has friends that live very close but she can’t always see them. She’s now got 2 bunnies, guess who takes care of them, but she does now have a cousin on the way so hopefully she’ll have the kind of constant company I think she’s been missing. One child isn’t selfish. When you’ve got perfection in the first there’s no need to be greedy.

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    • Thank you Matthew, I do wonder if he’ll get bored. He loves to play alone, has a huge imagination and a great relationship with our doggy. We do so many days out and time with his friends that at the minute he can’t possibly miss a sibling. I don’t think one child is selfish, thank you for commenting x

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  10. I’ve never understood why people think it’s ok to go on at people about having kids, be it the first or subsequent. It’s a personal, and often, emotional thing. For me, I have two, and love their relationship, but that doesn’t mean I think every child should have siblings – children and families are all different. Sounds like you have a lovely family and Lil G isn’t missing a thing 🙂

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  11. Lovely post. I’ve thought lots and lots about this and I think what every parent wants for their little one is for them always to be loved and for them never to be lonely. It’s probably why some go onto have another and why others build a huge network around their only child, like you’ve done and like i do. It’s a tough one and there’s no one right answer. I think we just all get there on our different routes x

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