Please STOP with the tantrums.
Please STOP with the silly o’clock wake ups, followed by a tantrum because mummy and daddy are so tired they can’t quite roll out of bed quick enough.
If I could understand and make things better or different I would kid. Honest I would.
Is there something wrong? Tell me if there is something which is troubling you. I promise to make it better. Part of me hopes there is something wrong as that would explain why you are being such a monkey. Or is this just the Threenager years coming to haunt me?
I’m pleading with you. Bring back our gorgeous boy. Bring back the toddler who is so grateful, generous and kind. Who despite having a moment is always be polite and kind. I miss you.
Please remove the Hulk from within you. The rage. The anger. The clenched fists. It’s too much. Surely you are tired of being so angry? Surely you’re tired of watching mummy and daddy become so upset with you? I don’t want to shout. I don’t want to be upset with you. I will always love you but right now kid I am tired. I don’t know how to help you.
It really upsets me when I have to take the hard-line. I don’t want it to be this way. I don’t want to be upset with you. Can I have this boy back…
I threaten you with the Naughty list, it sort of works, it sort of doesn’t. I threaten you with Buddy the Elf, who as you know will be telling Santa whether you are good or bad. At the minute sweetie you are on the Naughty list. Again it sort of works, it sort of doesn’t.
I have closed the door to your playroom which seems to upset you but still you let yourself down. I will take your toys away and send them to the good boys and girls. I will remove them from our house. You will cry. You will be angry. You may not even like me. I will do it. I promise. A naughty boy does not deserve to play with all the beautiful toys. Now does he?
To all the parents out there. I’m broken. Send help or coffee and cake.