The Truth About ‘I Hate Soft Play’

I do. I do. What is there to like? Do tell. Am I missing something?

Well for certain it surely cannot be the kids screaming, children abandoned by their parents who then run in horror when another child has pushed theirs. The iPhone parent. The pee. The poo. The sick. The dirt. Kids battling it out. Crawling through the smallest of holes, well lets face it they were not made with adults in mind. That is what I call soft play hell.

These places are my nemesis. Each time we have visited, which I can count on one hand there has been an incident. The most recent which was June 2014, for a 3rd birthday party Lil G decided that he couldn’t quite make it to the toilet and decided to pee in the ball pit. Yes that’s right. The place was full. The ball pit was full. Oh the shame. What’s worse (is that even possible?) is that when I quickly scooped Lil G up, ran past all the horrified and chuckling parents the staff were surprised I had actually told them. Apparently it is rare to own up to this ordeal. Oh my goodness. Seriously? Are some people really that gross? So not only are they filled with screaming children but the place is covered in pee. This is why I hate soft play. Oh the germs. Pass me the hand sanitiser.

I dread opening a birthday invitation. In fear that we have to either a) attend one of these places or b) assess whether or not I can make an excuse. Yes I am that parent. I am not sorry. OK, so I do feel a little bit bad for Lil G but I will admit to it not being enough to change my mind. Does that make me a bad mum?

At precisely 10.55am today soft play hell is what I am in. I hate soft play. There I said it. There is not one thing I like about it. It doesn’t matter how new it is, how big it is, how great the slide is or if they make delicious home-made food for the kiddies. I hate soft play.

So, put yourself in my shoes. What could be worse than attending a 5th birthday party at a Wacky Warehouse AKA a Soft Play Centre on a Sunday morning? Attending one on your birthday. I am being subjected to the hell that is soft play on my BIRTHDAY! Eek.

You may be wondering why? Well for two reasons; firstly, the boy in question is one of Lil G’s best buddies and the second, his mummy & daddy are our close friends. His mummy was my bridesmaid. It is a must in the diary.

Afterwards I will enjoy cake. That would be the cake my boys made for me yesterday. This…

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And then the fun began...



4 thoughts on “The Truth About ‘I Hate Soft Play’

  1. Haha, sorry but I laughed at the ball pit incident. I am also beginning to realise how awful soft play centres are and have posted about it before! It is the parents/carers that annoy me though. Sitting and not watching while their wee angels cause mayhem!


  2. He hee – so sorry that your friends subjected you to that on your birthday!! Meanies! 😉 JJ once did a wee on the second floor of a softplay (one of his only proper accidents when potty training to be fair) and it rained down onto the floor below! It was a moment of deep shame but I did inform the staff!! They were completely unfazed and whipped out the big blue paper roll immediately. Thanks for linking up Kerri-Ann (and belated Happy Birthday!) #thetruthabout

    Liked by 1 person

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