Cross words and compromises. Is what life is like after marriage. Is what life is like after bringing a child into the world. For us that happened within six months of each other so the change is quite prevalent. Before Lil G arrived Mr H and I rarely had cross words. Our biggest compromises were; who would choose the holiday destination, the restaurant, who’s turn was it to walk the dog, who would go to the shop when the milk ran out or worse still the teabags! Or even which silly hat to wear at midnight on New Years Eve in Bangkok on our honeymoon…
And before rolling your eyes or thinking she’s moaning about having a child’. No I am not. That is absolutely not the case. I love being a mummy. I adore my gorgeous George, or Georgeous as we call him. For those of you that follow this online journal of mine, my thoughts, will know that this is not the case at all! That I do love my boy. With all my heart.
Let’s be honest to say that you a) don’t have cross words and/or b) don’t make compromises would be a little white lie if not a big FAT porky pie. If you said that having children doesn’t change you or life around you. Of course it does. Physically, emotionally but also how you live your life. Changes, sacrifices, whether good or bad. The way you view life, situations, your perspective on things. So much does change and again not always for the worst. So much for the better. Having a child to a degree is just like a marriage, it is a commitment, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I stand by these promises.
If I am honest, I don’t believe that simply getting married would have changed us, I can’t be certain of course as unknowingly we were pregnant on our wedding day, and what with premature birth, Lil G arrived some four months after finding out! So we never did have time, just us after getting married. Putting it into simple terms, can a piece of paper really change you? Or the way you view things. For us, No. We already shared bank accounts, we pooled our incomes, we lived as a unit, we bought our first property after being together for 6 months. The truth is, that very quickly after becoming Mr & Mrs, we were no longer a two. We were a family unit. There was a special little someone to consider.
Cross words and compromises is what married life is like after having a child. Well, it is for us. Maybe my judgement is clouded by the Threenager years Lil G is currently treating us too or maybe this is just the way it will always be. Many a day we agree and many a day we disagree. I think that’s parenting. That doesn’t mean that we sit there disagreeing over every detail, or shouting, arguing or battling. But we do differ in our parenting styles, in our approach, we do have cross words and more recently I had to compromise on the wallpaper in my new bedroom!
So there you have it, cross words and compromises. As I write this post, on a Tuesday night, we have had a cross word. Lil G is refusing to sleep (20:34pm), because Nanny has allowed him to sleep in the day. Mr H suggested he watched a little something on the iPad whereas I, oh no, like every other night believe he should settle himself off to sleep. Why is tonight any different? The little monkey has spotted that we are both tired and boom he has hit us with an alternative.
Why did there seem to be a rule book for everything apart from marriage after children? There is a rule book for life after having a child. But not for marriage after having a child. If you have one then please do share it with me. Or is this normal? Am I, as Mr H would say over analysing the situation?