One Way Or Another…

At the beginning of this week I honestly didn’t believe that I would be feeling as positive as I am today.

On Monday I woke to the feeling of dread. It was the biggest week of our year so far. I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday to get through, followed by handing in my notice on Wednesday and lets not forget the decision as to whether or not Lil G would be awarded a place at our 1st choice of Primary School. A HUGE week and one for the most part was out of our control.

This week really could have gone one way or another. This is why…

3-weeks ago I found a lump. My breast had been causing me some pain for a few weeks. I wasn’t sure if it was pre-menstrual, my caveman training or worse still that there was something nasty in there! The BC words. Could it be? Well, Breast Cancer and other forms of Cancer have reared their heads in the female members of my family, so if truth be told in someway I feel my cards have been marked since birth. Some may think that’s a tad silly however when at 19-years old I found myself having an incision loop biopsy to remove cancerous cells and again later in life, now you might better understand my concerns.

So, on Tuesday at 8.30am I found myself sitting in a Breast Cancer waiting room at the hospital. Thankfully and within two hours we found out that there was nothing nasty in there. Phew. Honestly the worry, stress and sleepless nights cannot be explained in words. The thought of well, it’s better not said isn’t it.

Those few words ‘I have good news’ culminated in a long embrace with Mr H and a few tears. And a celebratory fry up. I do however have a condition which does need treating. Costochondritis. It’s ok. It isn’t particularly serious. It is manageable. Hooray.

The only message I can pass on to you about what I experienced is… ‘say YES to Breast Screening’ … It saves 1400 lives each year and most importantly gives you peace of mind. I had always seen signs in my Drs about ‘TLC’ when it comes to detecting these things. Touch, Look, Check. And that’s what I did. In less than 3-weeks I knew the truth. Surely 3-weeks of worry is worth the relief of knowing I was not at risk of anything nasty.

Moving on…

And then came Wednesday. Handing in my notice. Never nice. And despite working in recruitment for the last ten years, and coaching people on the best ways to handle such a thing I was really nervous. And then came another sleepless night. Thankfully it went well and I’m currently enjoying 2-days garden leave which feels pretty good. My new job, my new career, venturing into something a little different begins on Monday.

It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s the start of the future.

And then…

The reality that the day I have been dreading since the beginning of the year was fast approaching. The day we find out which School Lil G will be attending from September. I turned to twitter last night and was overwhelmed by my timeline. It was hard to miss all the mummy’s and daddy’s who were also in a bit of a panic. Did I stay awake until the email came in? Constantly hitting refresh on my emails. I tried but by 11pm I had to put the iPad down. The previous two days of stress, worry and well let’s face it sleepless nights left me somewhat exhausted.

I awoke at 1am and the news was in. The email arrived at 12.11am. Wahoo. Lil G had been awarded a place at our 1st choice School. We were out of the catchment area so for us it wasn’t quite straight forward. Our 2nd choice we would have been content with but not so much. This is the School which will take him through the first 4 years of his primary education. And that’s partly why we chose it. As an infants school it focuses on 4-7 year olds. It’s small, a quaint building which mirrored the primary schools both Mr H and I attended. It felt right. I cried when we visited as it just felt so right.

Lil G’s best buddy is already there as are a few others he knows. Many of the children from his nursery will also be joining him on this HUGE adventure. Sadly his best buddy from nursery didn’t get in, he was also out of catchment. They have put in their appeal so for now we have our fingers crossed. After 3-years of playing together it would be such a shame to separate them.

And now my thoughts turn quickly to before and after school clubs. More decisions. More choices to be made. I would so love to be the parent who stands on the School playground each morning and there to collect him each afternoon but sadly this cannot be the case. I am a full-time working mummy and also the breadwinner. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to have this pleasure one day a week. That will be the highlight of my every week from September. Our School is within walking distance so unless it’s raining I will be able to hold my gorgeous boys hand and escort him to School on that day.

Our week, my week couldn’t have turned out any better. Amazing really. The start of the week filled us with dread. Today we are literally jumping for joy.

It is hard to believe that our soon to be 4-year old will be embarking on his educational journey and it really does make my heart weep but what I must remember is that he is excited. That is what is important. It’s all about you kid and for as long as you need us, whether it’s to hold your hold, reassure you that all will be ok, to watch on as you take every next step, hit your next milestone. Mummy and Daddy will be your forever.

I say those words with a heavy heart. My parents were not my forever. They relinquished that right when they made the wrong parenting choices.

To all my mummy and daddy friends who were awaiting decisions. I do hope you were awarded the choice you wanted. To those friends whether real-life or bloggy friends who didn’t then I really am sorry. Do appeal. A teacher friend has given me the advice that so much can change in the weeks running up to the School term. Good luck.

KA x